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    October 25

    Flow

    每一个晚上的临睡前,我都会对第二天有一个大致的幻想。理想中的一天应该是:充实、平和、仅仅有条,并且很有知觉的。很久之前,我的理想是生活在深水游泳池的底层,寂静,温暖,包围我的只有脉脉的水流,黯淡的爱意如同阳光曲折地照进,只是慢慢觉得这是多么单薄的理想。生活是裹杂着酸甜苦辣世态炎凉的洪流,不由分说地便向你席卷而来。即使在经流你的时候,以貌似平缓的方式,也不知不觉地留下了许许多多的东西。
     
    总会成长吧。也曾经一厢情愿地这样想过。只是现在开始明白,成长不是坐守的过程,不是你安逸地闭目养神地坐在那里,到了某一个年龄,叫做“成熟”的果实就会上好了发条一般按时落下。甚至也不是沧桑和经历可以带来成熟,身边有一些人,也算是从种种磨难中劫后余生,却始终依然故我,不改天真。我有时会诧异于自我的力量,怎么可以岁月和经历如此跌宕地经行过,却不曾留下任何痕迹呢。现在却意识到,或许,即使成行,也是要主动地,积极地前去迎接,要以打开的方式迎接岁月和生活将赋予你的,并且将注定收回的一切。生活的层次如同洋葱一样,剥开一层,还有一层,某种程度上甚至不可穷尽,或许先入为主的各种理想,往往封闭了种种层次展开的可能,迫不及待的人生,会使得生命本该有的厚度潦草地转为单薄。
     
    时间本就不该光滑无暇地流过,我甚至喜欢那种它那颗粒粗糙的质地与皮肤摩擦时略微疼痛然而实在的触感。迎接年龄增长的最好方法,似乎还是应该心意坦然地接受生活将向你传达的一切,好的,不好的,转瞬即逝的甜美以及覆水难收的痛楚,诚挚的生活超过了一切物质上的繁荣。单薄的独善其身的幸福理想,甚至幸福本身都不具备力量,真正具备力量的是,历经磨难后修炼而来的宽广而温厚的承载力。
     
     

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    Jessicawrote:
    So life is tough,and we should be tough,too.
    Oct. 26

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